Needing peace

This afternoon, DY and I will get another ultrasound done.

My belly has been growing rapidly, I am  amazed by how this life is so deeply connected to me, how my body changes and accommodates for this wonderful human being inside of me.

I have been such an emotional wreck this morning at work, seeing all the babies... those who had surgery and are recovering, those who are still battling the defects and scars...  a fellow Christian colleague of mine just found out I was pregnant today and she was so excited for me... but I couldn't help but tell her quickly what is happening and ask her to just pray for me.

In my hurt, pain and worries, I could not draw the strength to "cast all my worries on God."

But I praise Him because He heard my cry for help in my weakness. Two of my friends messaged me with prayer and encouragement and so did my mom, when I sat by myself, crying, in the empty staff lounge... hoping the tears would stop flowing.

Mom quoted from the Footprints in the sand poem: 

"in the midst of my sorrow, worries , I cried great tears of joy --- for the priceless promise that You never waste our pain. On the other side of this trial, I know for certain, I will see Your purpose fulfilled, and once again, as always, I will find reasons to celebrate."

And my friend reminded me, of Psalm 139

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

God loves me and DY, and loves the little one inside of me. God you are mighty to save, mighty to comfort. You are my rock, my fortress, my strength.

Amen.